From Gleek to Glock

Last night Glee aired an episode that brought back some old plot lines. (SPOILER ALLERT) In the first season Quinn and Puck have a baby and end up giving it to Rachel's birthmother. I was so happy when this happened for several reasons that I will not go into now.

When Rachel's birthmother comes back into the picture she invites Quinn and Puck to be part of the baby's life. Puck is able to see the baby but Quinn is seen to be to out of control to see the baby. she is told that if she is able to straighten up she can see the baby. At the end of the episode Quinn is back to looking like the  "old" Quinn. She tells Puck that her looks don't change anything and that she is going to get HER baby back. She wants full custody.

I was watching this with my roommates who were caught up in the drama but didn't get what was really going on or what would soon be going on. I was trying to not yell and scream while holding back tears. I don't fully know why I was so upset. I started to think about my life, I put myself in the place of the baby in the show.

I was lucky as a child. My parents are kind, loving, quirky, educated, and supportive. They are every definition of "parents" and my life has been a good one. I started to think "What if my birth mother had launched a campaign to get full custody of me?" I don't need to be rescued and I was always glad that I was able to have two parents who loved me. That was when the pain hit. I thought about how my life would have been different with this kind of tension infecting my early life. The thought that my parents could have been withheld from me.

An intense anger welled up within me as I thought about Quinn. Wondering why she couldn't just leave this poor happy child to her life while Quinn figured out her own life. Why must Quinn project her insecurities and unhappiness onto this little child who was having a wonderful life?

I also thought about a young relative that I have whose mother decided to keep her. I think about her and I am so glad that I get to know her and have her in our lives, but there is always a little part of me that wonders how her life would be if she were allowed to live with the nice family that wanted her. She would have had two parents and all the ups and downs that come with life without any of the particular pains that she has to go through now. I don't think she would say her life is horrible, and it is not, but I know that what I have gained is so much better than what I would have had.

My thoughts are jumbled but the longer I write the more my emotions overcome my writing so for the sake of all involved I will take a brake and come back to this as I live alongside Puck and Quinn.